Fitting in at School

It’s back to school time, prepare your children for the future by booking in one of our social etiquette workshops. We specialise in workshops for teens and children to best prepare them for fitting in at school and society. Teen etiquette or young adult classes as we refer to will better serve you as a parent in the long run to invest in these key social skills in an environment specifically aimed at teens.

Not fitting in at school: How to help your kid or ...yourself if you are a teen


Preteens start to recognise there’s a pecking order to the social scene—and where they are fitting in to it.

If your child does not fit in at school, this can make them feel uncomfortable about going to school every day. Some of the reasons your child may not be comfortable with school is because of their class, they may not like their teacher or they may feel uncomfortable with the other students. If this is the case, then there are a few things that you can do to help your child get past these feelings and enjoy school a little more:

Belonging is an influential self-perception in relation to adolescents' school success. Some research found that sense of belonging in school was correlated with higher grades at the end of the year, as well as students' expectations for success and value of the work they did in school.

In school environments that can be specifically influenced by peer group membership in schools, belonging is essential to engagement and achievement behaviour. Dynamic quality of adolescent peer networks and belonging. Withdrawing from school influential model of the process of school dropout suggests that feelings of not fitting in at school are central to such processes and that strong social bonds work to assuage delinquent behaviours of youth in schools.  

Do you find it hard to fit in in middle school? Middle school is a time of big transitions and change. You gain new responsibilities and begin to find new friends and maybe even a love interest. Fitting in can feel challenging sometimes but never fear, it's all very manageable with some organisation and dedication.

Get Organised.

  1. Get to class on time. If you are late, it will go on your attendance record. If you are late/absent often, you might have to attend summer school, or be held back if it is severe. This will also lessen your chances to get friends, because they might not want to involve with who seems to be bad influence. 
  2. Keep Organised. Try to keep your supplies, binders, and even your locker well kept and up to date. This will make it easier to find the things you will need for the day and will reduce the time you spend trying to figure out what you need to bring home. Also, it makes you get to your classes faster, and your friends won't need to wait for you
  3. Use a schedule to keep up with everything. You want everything to be as easy as possible, so have your own schedule on how you operate


  1. Study. Tests/exams/quizzes will make up a huge part of your grade, and it's important that you get good grades. You will feel good about yourself, you will be seen as a smart, good person to hang with, and your parents will be very pleased, and might reward you. Also, in the future, you will have to spend a lot of time studying, so it's a good idea to train and get used to it right away.
  2. Always ask questions in class if there's something that you don't understand. Don't be afraid to ask your teacher for help. They don't want you to fail in school. If you don't want to ask in front of your class, ask privately after class.

Expressing your individuality

  1. Accept you for who you are. You don't absolutely need to fit in. While it might be fun, it could make you more stressed trying to constantly conform to expected standards. By accepting that what you have to offer as being as worthy as what others do, you can feel less needy about having to fit in. By all means be open to learning how you can improve things about yourself that make you feel better and more capable but don't feel that you have to become something you're uncomfortable with.

Forming friendships

  1. Choose friends who accept you for who you are. Gravitate to the people who have similar interests and hobbies. This will make your school time much easier. Seek out friendships with people who do not expect you to change the essence of who you are. If your friends accept you, they will try to understand you without asking more of you. However, they will also be supportive of you as you go through the changes so typical of your age group. After all, you don't want to be stuck back in time when you're ready to move onto the next phase of life. In turn, be supportive of their personal growth too. If you end up hanging out with kids who have a bad influence over you, check yourself. Do not participate in bad behaviour or activities and seek to extract yourself from such situations. Find friends who are not going to bring you down.
  2. Join clubs. Most schools offer after­ school clubs and activities to join. These are useful ways to meet new people, and find others who enjoy the same things you do, and it will make you enjoy school more. This also is a chance to improve your knowledge and skills in a certain area, which is always good.
  3. Help others. If you help someone else you might get a new friend or they might help you back in return. Learning good manners and being a good person will always be the best  option in the end.

To Book in one of our teen workshops go to..