The Art of Small Talk and being memorable for the right reasons
Polite conversation or small talk smooths the way when you first meet someone, making it a valuable tool for social interaction. How to Make Small Talk and be memorable for the right reasons in social settings.
Take the initiative and be the first to say hello. Be the first to introduce yourself and ask an open-ended question. This not only demonstrates confidence and shows interest in the other person, but it gives you an opportunity to guide the conversation.
Be well read and interesting. Read about a variety of subjects, either online or print editions of magazines and newspapers. “People want to be around interesting people” - Amanda King Etiquette Expert. Go prepared with topics or experiences to discuss that you think will be of interest to the persons you will be meeting.
Be a good listener. Give and take in a conversation. Ask questions and show interest with your body language. Discuss general-interest subjects such as movies, theatre, sports, books, movies, food, travel and hobbies. It demonstrates to others that you are approachable and friendly.
Be you. smile and give good eye contact.
Keep it light. If the conversation does get negative or full of drama make sure you always end the conversation on a good note. People remember the feeling of the conversation. Always close a conversation before walking away from the other person by using a graceful exit line; don’t simply melt from conversations. “It’s been great talking with you. I really enjoyed hearing about…”
Topics to Avoid. Steer clear of religion and politics and don’t talk shop to people other than colleagues. It is unwise to make assumptions, for example that everyone may have the same background or views as yourself.
Ask questions but try not to interrogate or make it seem as if you are trying to get a fix on the person or pigeonhole them by discovering where they live or what they earn. At the same time it is not unreasonable to try to find common ground by asking rather indirect questions. People will usually indicate whether or not they have children, or are married, so don’t ask directly.
Small talk can seem like insincerity or a complicated dance but it is tried and tested. Wait until you know someone better before being braver with topics. Trying to be controversial on purpose is really just showing off. One-upmanship is unattractive and can just make you seem insecure rather than impressive. Social interaction is not meant to be a competition.
Avoid catching people out. If someone is talking about a subject you know better than them it is mean, although tempting, to wait until they have finished before saying that you have written ten books about it. (Ref: Debretts)
Learning Small Talk does wonders to your reputation. it helps with the following:
Breaks the ice and puts others at ease.
Establishes a connection or defines a common denominator between two persons.
Doesn’t require original or profound conversation.
It’s what persons say to each other to be polite. Keeps the spotlight on others. Be genuinely interested in others.
Australian Etiquette Expert Amanda King is Australia's leading etiquette expert, founder of The Australian Finishing School offering classes in Australia, New Zealand and worldwide.